Munich

OMG, is it really 10 months since my last post? Lots of things are happening with the impending sale of Straight plc and so I am going to make a real effort to write a bit more often. Here are some slightly tongue in cheek thoughts about my recent visit to Germany.

Arriving in Munich a few days ago for the IFAT environmental exhibition I was initially very impressed. Less than 5 minutes after the wheels of the plane hit the tarmac, I was in a cab on my way to the exhibition centre. Try that at Leeds Bradford - impossible! About half an hour later it was obvious why the Bavarians are so keen to have your company in such a hurry. It means they can begin to take your money that little bit sooner.

My taxi ride cost 74 Euros. I reminded the driver that the fare was supposed to be 59 Euros as advised on the IFAT website. "Ach!" he said. "You should have told me when you got in. In any case then I would have to take you the longer way round and that would have taken an hour". (Actually the website says it is 35 minutes but I was not in the mood for an argument).

Having been relieved of another 4 Euros to deposit my coat and bag I went round the exhibition, trying to avoid tripping over the overflowing bins full of rubbish.

Thirsty work and at 3.50 Euro for a bottle of water, expensive work too. It was especially impressive to find a vegetarian falafel sandwich for sale. I recall one earlier year the salad without tuna cost more that the salad with it but this was a refreshing find at just 5.50. Unfortunately, they forgot to cook the falafel but then they never really understood vegetarians in wurst country.

My hotel room in town at 425 Euros looked expensive. This did not include breakfast which I opted out of at a further 39 Euros. On checking in I was led to my room by the young lady at the desk. She then asked if I would like her to tell me about the room. I replied that as she had taken the trouble to come up five stories with me then perhaps she should. "So, here is the bed, here is the wardrobe..." she chirped. German humour I suppose.

After a brief rest I flicked through the booklet on the desk only to find that I had a choice of no less than three types of bedding, a comforter, a sleeping plank (whatever that is), a wake up light, a living colour ambience light (again, whatever that is) or one of six different pillows. As I read further my 425 Euro rate was looking more and more bargainsome. An air purifier, a salt water spray for allergies, various paraphernalia for young children including baby phone and rattle, bath toys and a cuddly toy called "Maxl" then onto the dog pillow, dog bowl and some glowshine spray. I think this last item was for a dog but not 100% sure.

Also on the list was aftershave. What a great idea as having travelled with only hand luggage I didn't take any with me. I called housekeeping but somehow got the concierge. He was completely floored by my request and had to call me back several minutes later once he had composed himself. Advising me that they didn't have any he offered to go out and buy a bottle of the brand of my choice. Given I was leaving the room to go out a few minutes later I declined his kind offer.

Returning after around three hours I found a bottle of aftershave balm on my dressing table. It had been made especially for the hotel. I imagine they must have crates of it stashed somewhere. I tried a little. It was vile. It was fahrschtunken. Maybe the concierge was trying to do me a favour.

Most amazing thing of all - they didn't try to charge me for it!