Reception at No 10

 

 The Prime Minister

 

requests the pleasure of the company of

 

Mr Jonathan Straight

at a reception to celebrate small business

at Downing Street

on Wednesday 5th June, from 4.30pm to 6pm

You would think it was a hoax, well wouldn't you?  If this landed in your inbox one day. I certainly did, but then checking out the e-mail address it looked convincing, genuine, the real thing. My mate Dave wanted to invite me round. He also thought I had a small business. Well, possibly small by his standards, i.e. under a billion. It would have been rude to refuse.

Arriving at the gates, there was quite a queue. Seemed more than 100 had also been asked. The large sign at the edge of the sentry box states that x-ray and explosive detection equipment is in use. No chances today - although the last time I saw the PM (at The Times offices) somewhat unbelievably there was no security at all. 

Once through the gates, there is a strange feeling. Familiar but also new. Everything is a little smaller than you might expect. There is no grand plaza opposite the famous door as the television images might have you believe. The lack of traffic and scant numbers of people gives the feeling of being on a film set. 

Mobile 'phones are strictly verboten in No 10 and have to be left at the door. In fact they have a specially constructed piece of furniture with upwards of a hundred pigeon holes just for this purpose.

We all were ushered into No 10, turned to the right and the down the stairs past portraits of former Prime Ministers and then through a corridor lined with cricket-team type photographs of former Cabinets all autographed and then out into the garden.

The garden at No 10 is a real oasis of calm and it was a joy to stand and chat on the lawn whilst sipping elderflower water provided in abundance from the kind coffers of the Cabinet Office. 

Looking around there were a few business people I had met before. But then I began to spot various well-known faces all of whom were ready and willing to engage in conversation. And it seemed for once were actually listening and seemed really interested.

Eventually Mr Cameron arrived with a large entourage in tow, gave a brief talk about how wonderful we all were and how even more wonderful he was and then he began to walk around the lawn shaking hands with everyone. I was a little miffed because my handshake had not been caught by the photographer, but heigh ho. 

I had some very meaningful conversations with a number of MPs, Ministers and of course other business people. One lady was telling me all about her viral marketing business when her friend came over to greet her whilst clutching a mobile. "How come you're allowed one of those in here?" I asked. She worked next door. It was the lovely Thea Rogers, aide to George Osborne. I asked where George was. "He's supposed to be coming," she said as the mobile buzzed. It was him - and she was off.

When she returned with George in tow I was able to go straight over and I started to speak to him. I thanked him for listening to my comments about tax relief on share options a year before. (See my blog from 22-3-12). The rules had indeed been changed and I am claiming all the credit. "We're trying to be a listening government," he said.

Then I confessed to Thea that it was me who had tweeted that Georgie had a hole in his shoe the last time I saw him and that this piece of information had unfortunately been picked up by the Daily Telegraph. Probably did him a favour though as Timpson's offered him a free repair on reading the story!

After a very enjoyable afternoon I was about to leave when I bumped into James Caan. He had been all over the papers that day for telling people not to give jobs to their children when doing precisely that himself. He probably thought this was the one place he wouldn't get any hassle. "They're giving you a hard time," I said. He swiftly departed.

 

Then, there he was. My mate Dave. I saw the photographer nearby and told her that I would really like a photograph with the PM. "He's about to leave," she announced. "Don't move," I said.

 

"Prime Minister. Photograph with the moustache of the year?" I shouted in his direction. We linked arms and smiled for the camera.